Know Your Enemy — Cryler Blake
Tyler Blake is a man among boys. Originally from the midwest, Tyler has spent his life wrestling cows and eating corn, or whatever people from out there do (the closest either andrew or I have been is the corn section of whole foods so we’re not really sure). Regardless, years of living on an incredibly flat farm and threshing wheat has rendered Tyler into an image of Mr. America - hardworking, strong, and extremely sensitive. In fact, from henceforth he’ll be referred to as Cryler.
Cryler really enjoys long walks on the beach and sunsets.
In fact, they’re so beautiful sorrow overwhelms him every time he experiences the fading rays of the evening.
In an effort to capture his feelings, Cryler formed a band. Unfortunately, Hal Moore stole all of their groupies and Adam Steel got lost in a haze of twinkies and hohos, driving the band to an early end.
Tyler Cryler turned his emotions to rugby, though apparently, much like Tom Whiesousapt, he’s weak in the eyes. The doctors informed him that this was due to years of excess lacrimation eroding the bones surrounding his eyes. (Rumor is, he wasn’t even bleeding.)
This has nothing to do with him crying, but he is getting his ass kicked by Brittany in a pizza eating contest. Seriously, she’s slaying that pie and he’s giving up after just a slice.
more crying.
Superhero? Blue steel? Idol worshiping? Seriously, not even Dolf did stuff like this and he doesn’t even have a real name and we all know how much that messed him up emotionally and psychologically.
Bear offered to help Cryler, but Bear has never cried a day in his life and doesn’t understand displays of sensitivity. Cryler needs your help and the only way you can help him is by coming to the Alumni game.
