2/25/2013



Know Your Enemy Alex “Puka Shells” Voynow

My name is Alex Voynow.  I am a sophomore hooker that hails from the same parts as the demigod Adam Steel.  However, unlike Adam I am willing to state where I am from and am actually proud of it!  I am from the fine state of New Jersey.  Despite what Adam says we are NOT from Philadelphia.  He’s just not man enough to admit it like I am.  I embrace being from New York’s dumping ground.  After all we have the best beaches and a TV show dedicated to our area.  Every week, I anxiously wait to see the new events that transpire on Jersey Shore and absolutely cannot wait until I have enough courage to actually ask Snooki on a date……It make a take a while for her to recover after challenging me to a scrum.  I am very competitive…

 

P.S. I bought her those boots

 Like Adam, I have the perfect combination of awesomeness and douchebag.  On weekdays you can find charming the wits off of professors and classmates and on weekends you will almost certainly find me along the TH path or on the baseball field lacking clothing.  Just look at my body…. Wouldn’t you want to be naked if you looked like this.  This isn’t even my good side!

I am not just all looks.  I am pretty damn good rugby player….  I am probably the best hooker to ever play at Vassar.  (I don’t even get paid for it)  Oh wait I forgot I can’t say that because Cappy will be very upset with me……  I have been called a Skinny Kevin Frodell and an intelligent Hal Moore.  I am basically Gods gift to Vassar Rugby.  Maybe I will get a lineout thrown in strait.  (only if there is no wind)

Come Founders Day I will be ready to play.  Will you?  Get in shape….  Adam Steel will be….

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2/20/2013



Know Your Enemy Jerry Dieudonne

branker44:

If you do not know me, (you might be the only one), my name is Jerry Deuideoine.  There is so much I could say about myself but I will try to keep this short and sweet.   For all you ladies out there, I was just named to the All Conference Team.  I am kind of a big deal.  It is remarkable how good I am despite never coming to practice.  Most of my time is spent getting my beauty sleep or working on my craft.  I am an aspiring actor.  Most people tell me that I know how to handle a prop….  Here is a picture of my cameo on SNLimage

I have kind of let all of this success get to my head.  In addition to vehemently denying a fart I committed on the bus last year, I treat my friends and colleagues poorly.  Last year I spent a weekend at Soco 5 and despite them showing me profound kindness, I proceeded to intentionally spill a beer on their carpet.   It is ok because I have impeccable style and am always the center of attention.  Just look at me become the focus of this picture.

image

Back to my on the field exploits.  Unfortunately, my scoring has been down this year.  I cannot say I am to blame.  You see my fly half, Akil has no sense of touch and usually misses me with the passes.  If he gets it to my hands, its practically a try.  Most people say I have the best stiff arm they have ever seen.  Here I am fending off some Marist noob.  I think I used it roughly 12 times in a row in one game against William Paterson last year.  

image

 Alumnae, come founders day you better be ready for the beat down I am going to give you.  Get in shape or get destroyed.

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This post was reblogged from Untitled.

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4/24/2011



Need a ride to Founder’s Day?

Well, you’re in luck because Christian just bought a Honda Odyssey. It has a 4 speed automatic transmission, and a 3.5 liter V6 engine with 210 horsepower and 229 pound-feet of torque. It also offers plenty of space for almuni.  He said he can hold up to 8 passengers if he takes out the child seats. 

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4/21/2011



Know Your Enemy: Karl Foley

Well, my dear alumni, it seems like we are doing the “first things first” introductions, which is fine with me. There is really only a couple things that you need to know about me, and the most important is….I’m this guy.

And I know what all you jokers are thinking: “Who the fuck is That Guy?” And you know what I have to say to all of you washed up old men? Relax, I go to Vassar. This is what I’m supposed to be doing. I’m a freshman, this is what college is all about. And I thought this was a free country.

In the interest of being fair, I’ll warn you guys. When you meet me, I’m gonna be a quiet, well-mannered, decently good looking young man, but as this picture attests, I can promise you that I’m the craziest son of a bitch you’re ever likely to meet. I mean, Dudes, just Look at me!

Well fellas, I’m not only that guy. I’m also this guy.

This is me and my girl. She doesn’t even go to Vassar, but I’m still with her, cause that’s what I do. I mean seriously fellas, would you just throw this away? I plowed so many chicks in high school that I thought it was time to settle down. Shit, people can laugh all they want, “Oh Karl, what are you doing at such a slutty school with a girlfriend from home?!” At these moments I do my Karl Chuckle. The lonely times are worth the smug satisfaction of turning away all those drunk, sexually liberated feminists as they throw themselves at my feet. As I walk out the door I slowly turn around and whisper, “I can’t, I have a girlfriend…..at home.” You should just see the looks on their faces!

What?! Someone is telling me I need to talk about rugby. Honestly, I don’t really see the point but I’ll tell you a couple tidbits. I’m the greatest freshman inside center that Vassar has ever seen. In fact, I’m so good that I’ve already been named a Captain. That’s right, I’m already known as Cap’n Karl and i’ve been playing for less than a year. And quite honestly fellas, you can forget about even approaching me unless you are willing to call me your Captain. Are you jealous Danny Thomas?!

In closing gentlemen, I may be young and in love, but I have stories and experiences that would blow your minds. Just this March, I entered Men’s Rugby Legend with a night that would make most of you blush recounting it to your wives. I’m just that good.

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4/19/2011



Know your enemy — Brett Anker

First things first. I’m have a sick dummy kick / sidestep combo.  Its just sick nasty.  Actually, here’s a photo Stefan took when he was sitting on the sideline where he belongs. (I actually kicked it in this photo, cause well, all I really do outside of practice is kick the ball away.. but truust me the dummy kick sidestep craaazy

Lets just say I picked up this little trick during my month playing for VC soccer. Look its not a big deal, I got cut. I’m over it. It doesn’t even bother me at all. Unless I start drinking, but I stay away from that stuff cause it launches me into torrents of tears driven by memories of broken dreams.  

Sometimes, I still get sad, but a game of shirtless rub-the-tummy always cheers me up.

But lets get back to me being sick nasty. Not only am I crazy good on the field, but off the pitch I roll like king. Heres a little snapshot of me and my bro J. Senny. 

And check out my stash - I grow it from time to time to remind me that I dont need soccer am a unique person. This breezy sure digs it. 

I hope you’ve been running, cause me and my dummy kick will be waiting for your slow ass come founder’s day. 

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4/18/2011



A Letter from Benin

Unfortunately, one of our finest won’t be able to make it to the Alumni Game, but we’ll forgive him, he’s doing great work in the Peace Corps in Benin!  If you have the chance, read the note from Tom Szymanski and donate to his project!

Hello Everyone,

So, I’ve been working as a rural community health volunteer here in Benin for the past eight months and it has been an extremely rewarding experience thus far. I may have mentioned some of my activities and projects to you in passing in what I’m sure seems a far-off place, but I’d like to introduce you to what I consider to be a very exciting initiative that you can actually be a part of. Here is a description: 

In the small agrarian village of Bessassi nearly everyone works in or with fields in some capacity. While subsistence agriculture does exist, crops are primarily harvested for export. As such, although Bessassi itself cultivates a wide array of nutritious produce the marketplace is paradoxically empty of these wholesome crops. Those who do not work with agriculture tend to be individuals who operate their own shops. These shopkeepers are overwhelmingly ‘foreigners’ coming either from other parts of Benin, or more commonly from neighboring Nigeria. The absence of a venue from which to sell local produce combined with the fact that the marketplace is dominated by foreigners has had drastic consequences for Bessassi, particularly in areas of communal health and socio-economic development.


These consequences have not gone unnoticed and currently a viable solution is within sight. A joint effort between a women’s group that makes traditional fabric by hand and the Committee for Tourism Development of Kalale have proposed plans to open and operate a community cooperative. The cooperative will be comprised of a workshop for fabric-making, a restaurant, and a boutique. These entities will be interdependent and all dedicated to the promotion of communal health, the empowerment of women, and to the facilitation of the socio-economic development of Bessassi itself. The eagerness of the community is reflected in the fact that preliminary construction activities have already begun, yet further funding is being solicited to ensure that Bessassi will be fully capable of taking ownership of some of its most pressing issues.

Below I have included the link to where you can make a donation. ALL DONATIONS MADE ARE TAX-DEDUCTABLE, AND WITH NO OVERHEAD CHARGES 100% OF THE DONATIONS WILL GO DIRECTLY TO MY PROJECT! Please feel free to ask any questions about the project itself or Bessassi more generally. Every contribution counts and on behalf of myself and the people of Bessassi, I would like to thank you for your consideration. Although my access to communication is limited I hope to speak with you soon! In the meantime check out my photo album “Benin”.

https://www.peacecorps.gov
/index.cfm?shell=donate.contribute.projDetail&projdesc=680-207

With a firm handshake in thought, 
Tom 

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4/17/2011



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4/15/2011



"The alumni game is my favorite time of year. It’s like Christmas for sadistic[civilized], masochistic [compassionate], alcoholics [old folks]. “

anonymous

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4/14/2011



Know Your Enemy: Adam “Not So” Steel

I know what you’re thinking.  You’re thinking that I look really tough walking around a cul-de-sac with weights over my head.  You probably think that I’m an adonis, a modern day Hercules, a man so indestructible that only a cross-breed between Muhammed Ali and a cougar could take me down.  But, much like Jehan, I have an older role model too.  Tom Szymanski.

Now, some people take the approach of going to practice and lifting occasionally-never, but I went the other way.  I lifted constantly, took tons of roids protein, and got huuuge.  And much like Tom, my tiny little labrum snapped like a twig.  I know what you alums are thinking…you’re relieved that you wont have to face me this alumni game.

But you’re wrong.

I’ve been keeping in shape by joining the track team (yes, Vassar actually has a track team now), and being the best damn waterboy VC Rugby has ever seen.  I may not being able to get out there on the field April 30th, but if I was an alum, I’d be very cautious about drinking the water…

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4/11/2011



Know Your Enemy: Jehan Shams

Yeah, that’s me in the middle, hands on my hips, not giving a f- - - while my scrumhalf gets DEEESTROYED.  But that’s ok, I come from a long line of Vassar rugby players that vacillate between too exhausted to do anything and straight up crazy man.  Kind of like this guy:

In fact, Dan Zabar is my hero in more ways than one.  I’ve taken to eating a diet exclusively of creamed corn and buying $35 in tchotchkes every time I go to The Galleria.  We are literally a match made in heaven, whether its “supporting” a runner,

or just relaxing on the beach,

When we meet on opposite sides of the front row come April 30th, the world might just explode from too much awesomeness.

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